The Economist: http://www.economist.com/news/science-and-technology/21581699-if-climate-change-takes-your-local-glacier-away-why-not-build-another-iceman
"I'm melting!! I'm melting!!!" This famous quote (or paraphrase of it) is well known from the movie "The Wizard of Oz". This quote is pretty much what the glaciers in our world are saying. Despite their demise, the water from the ice is used to actually help the world; they are used for farming. Farmers who work in valleys such as Leh and Spiti rely on melted water from nearby glaciers. However, most of the glaciers that create the farmer's water supply have disappeared and the melted water (from higher up the peak) does not appear until at least two months later than it is needed. Chewang Norphel comes to the rescue and creates artificial glaciers. These glaciers take up the responsibilities and do the same amount of work as the old glaciers.
By creating artificial glaciers, Norphel has helped thousand of valley farmers keep their jobs. Artificial glaciers do not have any negative side effects and are very useful as an irrigation technique. Some people might claim that artificial glaciers are not healthy for the environment since it disrupts the natural course of nature. This would not be true since we only change what we have changed from before. Artificial Glaciers are simply replacements for natural glaciers since we disrupted nature with excess greenhouse gasses. Artificial glaciers are essential for many valley farmers since these farmers have no easy way to get water otherwise. The problem of the disappearance of low glaciers is no longer in effect; we have artificial glaciers.
Your wrote your blog better this time around; however,it can be improved if you expanded your commentary. You can work to shorten your summary or just keep it the way it is, but elaborating on your opinion will definitely enhance your writing. Consider asking yourself more questions to aid yourself in writing more for the commentary. You can start off by asking questions like:
ReplyDelete"How do I feel about this subject?"
"Do I support/oppose what the author is suggesting?"
"Why do I support/oppose it?"
You just need to thoroughly elaborate on each question.
For this particular article, you could have added more information on how you think the artificial glaciers will affect us in the long-run, or even about how you felt about the structure of the article.
That is all. :D I hope my advice helps!
I will keep these points in mind for next time. Thank you :D
ReplyDeleteAgain, not bad, but I do believe that you can offer a bit more analysis. You do not need to include much of what you have written in your blog. You should include more of your opinions instead of just writing what was written in the article.
ReplyDeleteIt was an interesting topic though.
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ReplyDeleteI found the article pretty interesting. However, I agree what everyone else said. I still would like to see you elaborate on your opinions a little more. There needs to be a bit more balance between your opinions and the info taken from the article. Otherwise, it is a well-written commentary.
ReplyDelete